It's a bit late in the thread, but I hope you read this. Maybe you should try LSD, just once. Sometimes, for some people, it allows them to reflect deeply on what actually makes them happy, and allows them to then live their life under the guidance of their own happiness, rather than focusing on comparisons to others, and what others think of them. I've seen this first-hand more than once. It's a long-lasting, deeply profound mental realization that can potentially change your life for the better.