? Sorry? A healthy colon and diet it’s not liquid or messy. A nice type 4 normal solid log that slides on out.

I’m very scared for most people I see online discussing BMs. People have some seriously twisted up guts and diets.

Are you trying to let people know you're a generator of superior fecal matter? If so, there's no need to apologize for it. Carry that stuff with pride.

It seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm.

Everyone's gut is different, but one minute isn't unreasonably short, especially if you have something like a bidet for fast cleaning afterwards. Are you sure you're not constipated?

I'm fine, enjoying my book.

Who says the readers are waiting while they sit? What's the rush out of there? Maybe this will make the concept easier for you to understand -

Restaurant: sit, eat, drink, chatter, coats, car, home.

Toilet: sit, splash, tinkle, read, wipe, wash, out.

Sure, but the actual splash act just takes a minute at most, and usually about 10 seconds for me. I don't understand how you can have time to read anything.

You're getting your book dirty for what is, as far as I can understand, no real reason. Why not read your book after washing your hands? (If you have a severe chair shortage, then sure, I can sort of understand: sitting to read is pleasant.)

It's worth clarifying, toilet-readers don't typically shit on their books.

The books contained shit long before entering the toilets.