It led to me staying faaaaar too long in an unhealthy relationship, trying to cure problems that I imagined myself responsible for causing. Sometimes you need to forgive yourself and move on. The Pottery Barn Rule and the Boy Scout Rule apply to things, not people.
I once took a golf lesson when I was a kid and, in learning about the divot removal tool, was told a similar one about the way to operate on a golf course:
"Leave it better than you found it."
I couldn't care less about golf, but this one stuck with me because it speaks to environmental stewardship. It's like a constructive riff on the mantra for when you're out in Nature: "Don't leave a trace."
Yup, great advice for a lot of contexts but not for relationships. This has been a hard lesson to learn and I've wasted 5 years of my life because of this.
It led to me staying faaaaar too long in an unhealthy relationship, trying to cure problems that I imagined myself responsible for causing. Sometimes you need to forgive yourself and move on. The Pottery Barn Rule and the Boy Scout Rule apply to things, not people.