Since most commentators seem to have missed it: Please read the very first paragraph!
> Get a coffee and some popcorn ready before you read this one. Love it or hate it, either way you’ll be wildly entertained. Names and details changed, for obvious reasons.
In other words, the whole article is not meant seriously.
I'm not sure why someone down-voted you, although I disagree that this was some sort of satire. I hope it was, as it reads like a harsh, chest-thumping, insulting diatribe, like some over enthusiastic high school football coach -- and one that won't accept responsibility and just blame others when they loose.
> Get a coffee and some popcorn ready before you read this one. Love it or hate it, either way you’ll be wildly entertained. Names and details changed, for obvious reasons.
In other words, the whole article is not meant seriously.